Tag, You're It! (Oh, and Prom Stuff)

Hello everybody. 
Haven't been here in a while, and I'm uber sorry about that. 
I've been so SO busy. 
BUT ALAS. HERE I AM. 
But busy. Literally. 
Prom, church, school, etc. Etc. 
I've been going out of my mind. 
Plus my iPad doesn't have autocorrect so it makes blogging more of a challenge than something I genuinely enjoy. 
(So pardon any typos, I'm typing this on my very shattered iPhone and an iPad w/o autocorrect... AND ACRYLIC NAILS.) 

~

Okay. So. Let's start with prom. 
Prom was... Haha. Well. I looked like Cinderella. I felt so incredibly beautiful for like the first time in a long time. I think that was my wake up call. (Shoutout to the lady who did my hair and makeup... She blessed my socks off throughout the entire prom process.) 

Anyways. I got ready with Bethany. (You should all know who she is by now.) We went from the place we got ready at to a park, and from the park to get food. Then from food, I had to give her boyfriend directions because he didn't know how to get to the prom venue. 

The night could've gone better. I didn't have a date. I didn't get asked to dance... Again. For the zillionth time. (Zillion is actually a word... Haha. Fun fact.) 

The music selection at prom didn't suck, but it could have been better. I'm a ChaCha Slide/Cupid Shuffle fan. They played them both super early in the evening. They should've waited. 

After prom, my group of friends went to IHOP. I almost passed out because my dress was too tight to eat in. So because I am me, and because my dress hooked at the top in the back, I unzipped the dress to eat. Best decision of the night. Then Bethany and I headed back to my house, and got a teensy amount of sleep before church the next day. 

(Random side note, teased hair HURTS when you wash and brush it. I had an insane case of oily hair the next day due to the amount of conditioner I used. But it was worth it. I looked so pretty.)

~ 

Hmm... Anyways guys. Church is fun these days. Except, well, we don't especially do the church thing. I mean like actually have an actual service with an altar call and stuff. 

We also have this little tradition of going out to eat after service so that we can all hang out and stuff. Well some of us are broke and don't wanna go out to eat, so a couple of my friends and I (and my brother) went outside and played tag. 

Yes, all of us are above the age of 14. (There were only three of us, so pardon the slight hyperbole that implies that there were more of us. It was just me, my friend Scott, and my brother.) 
Yes, we had a base. (My friend Emily decided that she didn't want to play tag, so we made her base.) 
Yes, it was probably the highlight of my entire week. (You know, because I don't have one of those normal things that people call a "social life.") 

My church friends are my favorite. It literally upsets me that I only see them once or twice a week. 
Shoutout to my church friends. 
Let's hang out sometime. 
We all would love it, don't lie.

Playing tag was just a whole lot of fun, and then it kinda hit me in the face that I'll be a legal adult in a little over 14 months. 
Haha. 
Haha. 
No. 
Nope. 
Not ready for that. 

Gonna stick to playing tag with my church friends and temporarily ignoring the approaching shadow that is my senior year. 
:D 

~

Another rant for the moment is just how much I wanna hit ignorant people that are currently in my general vicinity of peers and teachers.

To my peers, please grow up and act like the seniors we are about to become. 

To my teachers, guys... You guys could actually attempt to teach us a thing or two.

As it is fast approaching the end of the school year (like you all know, I'm stuck behind bars-er, in the classroom-until June 22nd), my teachers are slowly giving up on teaching anything substantial. 
Like you know, things that we have to take finals on week after next. 
My psych teacher still has faith in us, though. He's done some really cool psychological games/experiments with us that have made this dreary week better. 

Speaking of school... 
Congratulations to the SSHS Class of 2015 that graduates tonight! 
I am so proud of you guys. 
After tonight, they've told us all that it's our turn and that we are officially the Seniors. 

...Gah. I'm so terrified. 
My last year of high school. Wow. 
Feels like yesterday I was graduating Kindergarten with my little friends, and next year I will be graduating for real with a diploma. 
Where has all of this time gone? 

*sigh* 

Anyways. I have to stop writing now to go dig out concert attire because our choir is singing at graduation tonight. 

I love you guys, always. :) 
-OnlyMeJustT<3

Thespian Thinking

Hello loves! 
Today was just...wow. 
Like a good wow. It didn't feel like a normal day at all. 

Anyways. I did my audition. 
I prayed before, during, and after. 
I also met some cool people. 
I have missed the thespian life so much, you guys just... 

The last time I ever did an audition like that was in front of my 8th grade chorus teacher and his assistant. It was terrifying and improvised, because it was my first audition not around people that I knew exclusively. (For example, church plays.) 

Today was different because I went in levelheaded and determined, and got to see one of my guy friends who completely promised me that it wouldn't be the end of the world and that I would do just fine. Both of those things probably made all of the difference. I was just nervous and excited and a bundle of joy. 

I keep forgetting that I have seniority now, since the seniors have all gone. They graduate next week. I am so going to miss them all. Especially the ones that I've literally known forever. 

So I was glancing around this foreign room in this school I've only been in... Well, I can count the number of times on my hands, so there. I was just trying to get a good idea of who does what. I'm a people watcher, which might make me weird, but yeah. 

Anywho, I started talking to some people, and it was just fantastic. Utterly fantastic. We jammed in the hallway during auditions, mostly to warm up and get rid of nerves. We also did our monologues for each other. I dunno. It was fun. One of the ladies watching my audition laughed at my application. Not in the mean way, but simply because of how much detail I'd put into the entire thing. 

Most people made this out to be a walk in the park, I took it massively serious. 
But!
I also had a ton of fun. Auditioning is just fun in general. (To me it is. Experiences are everything.) 
Meeting people is cool too. A big reason I'm so flamboyantly passionate about this play, is simply because I'm going to be a part of something bigger than myself. 
I have missed the ensemble, the improvision that comes with acting, the set designing, the costuming, how exactly your spot is gonna be when the curtains open. 
In the words of Rachel Berry, "Being a part of something special, makes you special."
So one way or another, with this particular group of people, we are all gonna be something special. 

Every time that someone asks me how I did, I've been telling them that I did my best and that it's all in God's hands. It's totally up to him what I do. I'm just thrilled and inspired by what has been falling into place in my life. So much of that started here, too. Just writing to you guys... 
I feel free. 
I can say whatever I want. 
I can tell you guys my joys and fears... 
And you just get it. 
It's so nice to have so many of you backing me up. I know that I may not know all of you personally that read this, but I do know some of you, and your feedback has been nothing but constructive. 

I haven't felt like myself in a very long time. An internal identity crisis, if you will. 
But here lately, meeting new people and growing closer with people I've known a long time? 
I finally have this sense of true identity. 

Ms. Darbus in High School Musical gives a speech during the detention scene in the first movie. In the third movie, she talks about how you discover yourself and tells Troy that the stage can be a wonderful aid in doing so. 
That's one thing I've prayed about, too. 
By playing a role, which I pray I get (literally pray, no joking about that guys), I know that I'll have impact not just on the people in the audience... I'll have an impact on myself and on the conglomeration of witty dramatic people around me. 

I have often dreamed, since I was really little, about this time of my life...
How it would be. Prom, schools, and graduation that is literally just one more year away. 
I now know that it wasn't coincidence that brought about those thoughts and feelings of little Tori, but this seed in my heart that was planted for me to make a difference. It was the start of who I am now. 

One thing though is for sure and for certain. 
I am not ashamed of who I am and what I stand for. 
When I look in the mirror now, I flash myself a grin, and walk away singing something dopey and probably Broadway related. 
I'm secure in myself. 
Even though sometimes I stutter, falter, and let things that people say go to my head... My security in my sense of self has never been stronger. I'm not prideful. I'm just... I'm just me. 

Speaking of looking in the mirror... 
Guys. This is a big deal for me. 
I did the squat challenge, and started eating healthier. 
In the last two weeks?
I've lost 18 pounds. (And counting!) 

So there you go! Two updates in a row!
That ended in rhyme... 
I didn't plan it this time. 

Great. Rhyming. Lol. 

Much love, guys. 
I'll be back soon. 
Also, 
HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY TO THE BEST LITTLE BROTHER IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. I LOVE YOU, KID! I CANNOT WAIT TO WATCH YOU START HIGHSCHOOL NEXT YEAR. I AM SO PROUD TO BE YOUR BIG SISTER!!!

-OnlyMeJustT(:

Drama Queen.

Hi guys! I miss you all so much and today has been so awesome that I just felt the need to say hello! 

Okay, for starters, I got my nails done for prom. First time ever getting nails done, they're acrylic, and they hurt so much right now. However, they are very pretty and elegant and I just need to get used to them. 

Anyways... This week has just been so incredibly weird in a wonderful way. 

I'll tell you details about prom paraphernalia this weekend, and when I do, you will massively freak out just like I did. I've just met some really cool people and some really cool doors have been opened for me, all thanks to a prom dress. 

***

I have an audition tomorrow, guys. 

...My first audition in a very long time. 

...And I have high hopes, despite what I've been told. 

God's got this, though. I know I'll be exactly where he wants me, and that's all that matters. Plus I have some really awesome friends that I get to be around next year thanks to this audition and everything... So there's always that.

Anywho, those of you who pray, say one for me tonight. I've seriously started super relying on prayer (WHOAA, LIVING ON A PRAYER...) and believing for things to be done and it's awesome what's happened. I wish that those of you who don't believe in Jesus could just see it the way that I do. 

This audition means a lot more to me than I've told anyone. I know that sometimes auditions can be popularity (popular, you're gonna be popular...) contests, but like I said, God's got this. (I'm super thrilled to see where he puts me, too... Just saying!)

Hence the title of this entry. 
Drama Queen. 

Geez guys, you wouldn't understand how many times I'd been called that. Now it's started to mean far more than it did before. I am no longer offended by the term. I am very well aware that I am a sarcastic person, and an emotional one too. I'm weird and quirky. I like it like that. (Hey, window's down, chilling with the radio on...) 

I am a tad bit dramatic.......

Tad bit......

Yeah.......

(Oops, sorry for all of the dots...) 

I wish I could explain to you guys why I am so... I dunno, happy? I'm happy. I'm gleeful and full of joy and I have a dopey grin on my face and I don't even know why exactly. This week has just been good. I wish that I could feel this happy all the time. 

I am also on a Wicked kick.

Actually, a musical kick altogether. I'm having a Broadway epiphany and I'm just all around odd this week. 

I'm actually listening to Wicked right now. 

Just saying. 

I need Broadway rehab. 

Send help, lol. 

***

Wow, that was very much all over the place. I haven't written. I so need to just catch you guys up on last weekend. 

First of all, it was mom's birthday and we got her a cake and put "39" on it. That was fun. We had some friends come in from South Carolina, and I profusely enjoyed that. Bethany came and stayed for a little while too. Nicholaus won another baseball game. Just a good weekend. 

Tonight was good, too. I just love most of the people in my youth group. 

I also made two of my guy friends (who are awesome and musically inclined and you would all enjoy making their acquaintance) take a selfie with me for the sole purpose of using it as an "#mcm" picture next Monday. These guys are pretty cool. If you follow my personal Instagram, you'll see it next week. I promise.

Well, I know this a super short entry, but I just wanted to let you all know that I'm still kicking! 

Now. 

I must leave you all! 

(&Go shower because I have school tomorrow, ugh.)

I love you all so much! I'll catch you up some more soon! Pinkie promise! 

-Tori :D

Counterfeit

So I tried to write yesterday and it didn't work out because I was overwhelmingly busy. 

I've tried guys. I totally miss you guys. :( I promise that I'll try to write more this week. 

I'm working on "Bragging Rights" for a couple of people right now too, and I'll have those up soon. You will all enjoy the one I'm writing for Pat, I'm sure. It's pretty much our whole story, and I requested and was granted his permission to write about it. He's cool like that. Plus he's cute. I'm doing a few others too, but those you'll just have to wait and see about. 

This week has been so stressful that I don't even know where to begin. 

Like I think I've said before, we're doing massive amounts of standardized testing right now at school. So my classes are empty when there are AP tests going on, and my morning today was consumed with essay writing. 

Speaking of! The essay was based on articles about "citizen reporting" which is just fancy-talk for blogging. My friends told me that they thought about me as they were writing the past couple of days because blogging is kind of my thing. Lol, thanks guys. <3 

But the essay was super fun to write (in my opinion.) One because I just love essay writing, and two because the subjectmatter was something that I was psyched about. Giddy over a stupid test... Gosh I'm so weird. 

~

Anyways. Let me just tell you the mild version of what has transpired in the past 24 hours. My topic today doesn't need an introduction, but here's a nice little diddy for you to read instead. 

I have a friend, a good friend, who is making some dumb decisions and has placed herself in some awful situations in her life. A few of my friends and I tried to convince her to dig her way out of this hole, but alas, I decided to back off. I pointed her in the right direction, and then told her that it was her decision. She thanked me, and I thought it was done at that point. 

Until yesterday. 

Yesterday, one of my other "friends" decided to stick their nose where it didn't belong, and go psycho on my friend. Pretty much disowning her for everything, which is a low blow considering... Well, just considering a lot. Then this so-called "friend" of mine decides that I'm a pathetic excuse for a human being because I don't want to be everyone's doormat in this situation. 

...

Hold on. What? 

I'm pathetic? 

Because I don't desert my friends when they need me, even if they're in the wrong? 

*sigh* 

Anyways, correction has been achieved today and my female friend has finally done the right thing. 

So I'm proud of her for that. 

However. 

Stuff happened via social networking that was just really stupid. 

Someone that I almost considered a close friend has literally tried to shatter my confidence, but thank God that I have people surrounding me that genuinely care about me and my well-being. 

Apparently, I'm not selfless enough to be trusted because I value my own health and well being above that of others who decline my help. In the much loved words of Bobby Singer (Supernatural), "Well, boo-hoo princess." 

You know what today made me realize? 

I don't need people. A lot of you? I can really do without. 

Some of you though... I know that I couldn't live without even if I tried to. 

So tread carefully with me if you're unsure, because I'm not posting neon signs for you people anymore. 

~

You know how in elementary school people said things like, "Well, I can't be your friend if you talk to her." ? 

Today has been a raw representation that some people don't ever grow up. Some people are stuck in this circle of people that are only concerned about themselves. It's hilarious, really. Well to me it is. Just saying. 

Dearest peers of mine, 

GROW. UP. 

JUST GROW UP ALREADY. 

Literally. We are about to be adults (and some of you already are adults) and we should just have the decency to act our ages. I don't particularly care how you act your age, that isn't my business, but seriously. Act it. 

People just confuse me. 
You think that you begin to grasp this idea of who people really are, and then you get massively deceived all over again. 
Why? Why can't you just be real?! 
What in your life, besides your obvious god-complex, makes you feel so superior to everyone else? 
Better yet, what gives you the power to say that you're better than me? 

Look, I know that I'm not the most perfect person in the world. 
Yeah, I've done regrettable things. 
Yeah, I've made mistakes. 
Yeah, I can be selfish. 
I know all of this. You aren't telling me anything that I don't already know about myself. I have flaws... That's kind of the point, you know? 

I write this thing because I want all of you guys to know that it's okay to be weird, quirky, and all around imperfect. I love my imperfections. I write this blog because I have a fire burning in my soul to somehow change the world, and if I can change just one person at a time, then you can just forget about the bigger picture. Yes, I realize that it's a ginormous world out there just waiting to be made to feel good again, but I can't bear that burden alone. Hence why I rely on God, my parents, and the best group of friends a girl could ever ask for. It isn't my world to save, but I know that I can make a positive difference some way, and that's what really matters. 

And also, those little "flukes" you think that I have in my system? They make me who I am. Especially the way that I have a way of talking with thick sarcasm that is just one of a kind, and I don't care if you don't like it. 
There. I said it. I do not care if you don't like it. 
By it, I mean my personality and the traits that go along with it. 

Wanna know something else? 
I don't care if you like me.
I like me. 
A lot, actually. 
& Patrick likes me.
& Emily^2 like me. 
& Bethany likes me. 
& Jordan likes me. 
& Alissa likes me. 
& Erica likes me.

So if you don't like me? Das okay with me. :-) 
These people are so real to me it isn't even funny. They are all a huge part of me, and I consider them all family. Yeah, sometimes we all argue or fight or get aggravated with each other. But that's what family is for, right? 
Family don't end in blood... [Bobby Singer quote again, via SPN] ...but it doesn't start there either. 
These guys? These guys are the real deal. 

~ 

I know that I have been missing here lately, and all over the place in my writing, but I will try to remain more consistent after all of this testing is completed. I miss writing to you guys every day. I just don't get time to as much as I want to. School is just... Overwhelming right now. 

Also, I have a chorus concert on Friday but I shall rant about that after it comes to pass. 

...BUT ON DA BRIGHT SIDE: PROM IS NEXT WEEK!!!!!!!!! 
I'm so excited. 
I'm gonna look like Cinderella and I'm so excited. 
:D

But yeah! I love you guys. 
Until next time, 
-Only Me, and I'm Just T :)
(...and I happen to like it that way.)

Happy Mother's Day!

From T- This is a note to my mom. Hope you all enjoy. Especially you, mom. 

Dear mom, 

First of all, I just want to tell you how much I love you. You have been my best friend for so many years, and I am eternally grateful. 
I know that sometimes we don't see eye-to-eye on things. Some days we both just can't stand to be around each other...but that's okay too. 

I didn't know what to give you this year. Usually I think tediously about what to get you, or write you, or make for you. 

This year, I was just at a total loss for ideas mom. This past year has been one of the hardest ever. It's been strange, because the four of us are on our own again. It feels weird. Even in North Carolina, life never felt the way it does here now. I know we're content and cozy, but this big house still sometimes gets too quiet and creaks just a little too much..

Mom, I don't want this to be an obnoxiously long rant about how much I love you and all that you've done. Don't get me wrong, I love and appreciate you with all my heart, but I'm writing this to say something else. 

I know how hard today is for you. Believe me, I've cried several times at school just thinking about how this week must have felt for you. I know you've been aggravated and angry more often than not here recently, but I understand. 
And I forgive you. 
Totally forgive you. 
Pinkie promise. 
Always. 

I know that it's your first Mother's Day without your mom. I know that you miss nana with everything in you, and that you've probably cried or been down more than you've allowed anyone to see this week. That's okay. You're allowed to be sad, today. You're allowed to cry even, it won't hurt my feelings mom. 

Though I know you and nana weren't as close as you and I, she was your mom. I know that if I lost you, I'd be totally in a fog for what to ever do again. You are my rock, mom. (And you rock, because puns are a necessary addition to my writing.) 

I know you miss her, momma. I miss her too. As I write this, laying in the room that used to be hers, my heart is broken. 
I know that she wasn't my mom, but she was my nana. 

Growing up around here, it was always like I had two sets of parents. You & dad, and nana & grandad. Seriously. I always felt like I had this huge support system and I honest to God felt like a princess because I was always surrounded by you guys. Now I feel like part of me is lost too, and I am so thankful that I have you to wake up to every single morning. (Yes mom, even when you're grouchy or asleep.)

Mom, I just want to let you know, I love you. Today I know that you're are marred with grief. I know that your heart is also broken because you feel like you can't be a good mom to Nicholaus and I today because of how broken you feel. Tell your brain to shut up. 

You are an awesome mother. Yeah, you drive me crazy sometimes, and I roll my eyes and let out the teenage exasperated groans and sighs... Sorry 'bout that. (Learned from the best, lol. <3) 

But mom, you have gone above and beyond to do for Nicholaus and I and I am so grateful. Whether it was a big thing we'd been wanting, an outing to find clothes, grocery shopping, or just our talks in your "office"... You have done so much good. 
You are such a good mom. 
Please never forget that. Ever. 
Whether I live with you or not, I'm still your little girl. 
No matter what my age, my attitude, or my personality... I'm always your little girl. 

So today mom, I give you this. 
Today you get the day off. 
Don't lift a hand to cook, to clean, to do laundry, or anything like that. 
Take today, because I know it's one of the hardest of your life, and just relax. Breathe. Cry if you need to, because it's okay to cry mom. It's okay to. I promise. 
And if you need a hug? 
Come find me. 'Cause I'll never run out of those. 
(Okay, the rest of the day off, considering how sick I was this morning. Thank you times 1,000,000 for making me feel better just by your presence.)

I love you with all of my heart, 
and I miss nana too. 
Just know that it's alright to miss her, okay? 

Today is your day. You deserve the mother of the year award after how far you've carried me these past few years. Probably mother of the decade, to be honest. 

Happy Mother's Day, mom. 

Thank you for siding with me and giving me as much of the world as you can. 
For never backing down. 
For answering Facebook messages and phone calls when I'm at school. 
For being my best friend. 
For never giving up on me. 
For always seeing good in me. 
For always praying for me. 
For crying with me. 
For the hugs and kisses. 
For being my nurse. 
For being there for me when no one else was. 
For prom shopping over baseball games. 
For every reassurance. 
For being on my side even when I wasn't always right. 
For defending me. 
For giving me hope. 
For giving me Nicholaus instead of Faith. (Lol. Puns.) 
For dancing around kitchens with me. 
For silly conversations. 
For every clapping car ride of "favor!" 
For loving my friends, too. 
For every "Bible" and "SHH! I hear a car." 
For being my Dr. Phil. (You deserve a TV show now, I swear you're certified to counsel.) 
For not believing the people who said that you'd never have children. 
&Most of all for inspiring and fueling every dream I've ever had. 
I seriously hope that I can someday be at least half the woman you are now, mom. 

I love you to the moon and back, 
One, two, three, four, more than four... 
& to infinity and beyond. 
<3 

-your little girl always, Tori(:

Random Tangents

Hey guys!
By popular demand... I'm back. 
Sorry I've been gone so long. This week has been stressful and insanely busy. 

Anyways! Greetings! 
I don't really have a topic today, so here are some lovely rants for you guys to try to follow along with. 

~ 

I got my prom dress last Saturday! It's blue and cupcake like, but tight at the top. My shoes are white heels that buckle across the top... Very much Cinderella-esque. 

I'm so excited for prom! I'm getting a tiara, mom got me some cute little earrings, and I've yet to find a mask to wear BUT I WILL! (Our theme is Masquerade, sooo.. Insert Phantom of the Opera reference of your choice right here.) 

I don't have a date. Yet. (Working on it, but these things take time.) I do however, have people to take pictures at and to go out with the night of prom. :D We also have a place to take pictures, and someone to do it for us. I'm legit so excited. 

I actually get my dress back tonight. Get this: I'm renting my dress, and the place I got it from just had it donated, and it's never been worn before. It actually still has the tags on it. However, the zipper at the bottom was sewn into the dress wrong so the teeth of the zipper wouldn't stay together at the small of my back. It was annoying. BUT, thank the Lord that my mom and I knew someone who could easily solve the problem. 

It's only taken them 3 days to install a new zipper. We are all so happy that it was such a fast process. (And by all of us, I mean the woman renting me the dress, my dad, my mom, and me.) 

Now I really just need a mask and to break my shoes in before prom. 
*sigh of contentment* 
Formal dances bring me such joy. 

It's so funny, because you know movie A Cinderella Story where the girl Sam goes to the little secondhand shop and finds the mask to her Cinderella dress? This is very much that situation. I can't wait to find myself a mask. Anyone know where to get a good one? Message me if you do. 

~

Allow me to quickly rant about English. We are writing research papers and such, and my teacher gave me a 25/30 because I only had 3 citations on my works cited page. 
Look woman. 
When you write an essay, especially an essay based solely upon research, you can't just turn in a full list of cited sources before you even begin to write your paper. 
When I write formally (aka, not on Wattpad) I have to cite every website I use or I feel gross. Only because I know how ticked off I'd be if someone stole my work. 
But no. 
I had to turn it in with my 3 awkward little citations and she dropped the grade of it by 5 points. 
I now have like, 9 total MLA citations for my paper now. 
I mean, she said that she would let me turn in the real works cited page...
But dude. 
Seriously? 
Gotta give me a panic attack over it because you believe in turning in work in an awkward way? 
Ugh. 
Okay. 
Paper rant over. 

~ 

I STARTED THE FREAKING SQUAT CHALLENGE. 
Basically, it's 30 days of squats (you get rest days, which today is for me.) 
You start at 50 and then add five more every day that you do them. 
I'm currently on 65 (tomorrow) and got over the not being able to walk phase. 
You guys should've seen me yesterday, I cracked myself up. 
At my school, we have this little staircase at the top of the main hall. I had to awkwardly wobble down it because stairs literally murder my legs every time I try to go up/down them. 
I'm just uber motivated right now over all of this prom stuff, so it gives me motivation to do other things that will help to improve me by prom. 
I may not seem like it, but I enjoy exercise. I enjoy being active. I even enjoy running if I can make myself stick to doing. 

I also wrote a flag routine. (The first routine I've ever written by myself, go Tori!) 
It's a sassy little routine to The Phoenix by Fall Out Boy. 

"So we can take the world back from the heart-attacked,
One maniac at a time we will take it back.
You know time crawls on when you're waiting for the song to start,
So dance alone to the beat of your heart...

Hey young blood,
Doesn't it feel, like our time is running out?
I'm gonna change you like a remix,
Then I'll raise you like a phoenix.
Wearing our vintage misery,
No, I think it looked a little better on me.
I'm gonna change you like a remix,
Then I'll raise you like a phoenix."

There's the lyrics to the part that I have choreograped flag-style. I'm proud of my little routine. It brings me joy to still work with a flag even though I'm not offically on a color guard even more. My SSHS guard team from last year is still my family. I love you guys always. Even though I can't perform with you guys next year. 

#1stPlaceGuard@TriState2015 :)

~ 

Onto another random tangent, youth was fun last night. Two of my friends and I are musically inclined, as I've afore mentioned, and are doing a song next week. These guys are literally awesome. 

OH! Formal announcement for you guys. 
I'm no longer graduating early. 
I'm going to a local high school next year for the first half of the day to do musical theater and chorus. You don't understand how excited I am. I'm a theater kid. Have been since I was like, four. I've been in several muscials and plays, including lead roles that I didn't imagine that I could ever achieve. I've had some awesome teachers and mentors through the processes of singing and acting on stage... 

Thank you to everyone who's ever helped fan the spark in me; I hope to soon make it into a flame again! 
I'm not just talking to my teachers, I'm talking to my friends too. 
I'm talking to the man who directed Heaven's Gates & Hell's Flames. (Actually wearing my cast and crew shirt today, woo!) 
I'm talking to the children's church workers. 
I'm talking to my mom and dad. 
I'm talking to Molly, Patrick, Alissa, and Bethany. 
Thank you all. I hope I can make you guys proud some way this next year. 
Somehow, some way, I promise that I will. 

My friend Scott and I (who go way back, like to pre-k) were talking last week about this little Thanksgiving play that we did back in Kindergarten. Wow was that ever a long time ago... It's hard to believe that we're almost adults. That's uh, slightly intimidating. Just a little bit. 

I was telling my friend (okay, best friend) Bethany about the play that I did my 8th grade year with my friends down south. I spent like, 20 minutes quoting the play to her and she laughed and applauded. I also sing to her a lot now. She loves me, lol. She just.. I dunno. I'll have to do a "Bragging Rights" for her here soon. Then I can talk about more of my week because literally I have seen her every day since... Last Monday? Yeah. Not complaining. We also haven't gotten sick of each other yet. I can also tell you guys about how hard it was when I originally moved to NC the first time... I may do that tomorrow. You'll just have to wait and see!

~ 

I have some other stuff to get off of my chest, but I'd rather not offend anyone immediately after my 5 day hiatus. 
Two people today told me that they got the Wattpad app just to read my blog. 
Holy crap. I knew I had to update immediately. I can't leave you guys hanging if you're actually looking forward to reading what I write. 

I pinkie promise that you'll hear a lot out of me next week. We have standardized testing all next week for my grade (stupid WV) so my iPad has to be 100% charged every single day. I'll write when I get done, even if I have to write on notebook paper and then type it all again. I've got no problem with that. 

Special update coming on Sunday, so you guys have that to look forward to. 
Special update coming next Friday, which will be an analysis of my last chorus concert at my high school. 
Then a certain someone in my family hits the big 1-4, and I'm gonna brag on him some. 
Then an official prom update the Friday after that. 

So you guys will definitely hear out of me for the next couple of weeks at least four times. 

Thank you for 1.27k reads. 
Thank you for any and all reads. 
Thank you guys for just being my motivation and putting joy into my day. 

(And to Lexi, Erica, Jordan, and Bethany, I'M SORRY I TOOK SO LONG TO UPDATE GUYS. I'LL TRY TO DO BETTER.)

I love you guys!!!
-OnlyMeJustT(:

Friday! 5.1.15

Hello everyone. 

It's my absolute favorite day of the week and so I thought I'd come say hi. 

School today was...riveting to say the least. 

Some things happened today that literally proved to me that there's power in words and that I would literally do anything to help my friends. Major things were dealt with, I magnificently have stood my ground, and it just makes me happy. To be honest with you guys? Writing has immensely boosted my confidence and self-esteem. I'm not a coward like I know I used to be. 

I have some of the best friends in the entire universe. 

#BeJealous

Anyways, in my Psych class today we watched magicians. Our lecture today was on illusions and perception, and so we watched some magic tricks. I was insanely captivated by these tricks and flicks of the hand, mostly because anything that involves smoke and mirrors is just something fascinating. We watched the disappearing Statue of Liberty illusion from the 80s and then looked up how it was done. Lights and a rotating stage... Smooth, right?

Growing up I wasn't really into things like that, but now I'm just captivated. I'm mostly captivated at how gullible humans are/can be, which is key to anything done that involves trickery. 

I also made a few comments regarding a certain Seraphim trickster in Supernatural... Lol, it just seemed like something he would do. 

~

Anywho, what've you guys been up to today? Anything fun? 

Some of my friends up here have their prom tonight. To you going tonight, have fun, be safe, don't do anything too stupid! Also, take a lot of pictures so that I can see how well y'all clean up. 

Tomorrow night is another local prom, and our prom is in 22 days. I'm going to find a dress tomorrow. (Yeah, I realize I'm late to the party. Judge me, go ahead. Last minute dress shopping. Blah.) I'm so excited. 

Listen, people don't generally think that I'm a girly girl but I can promise you that I am sometimes. Tulle, silk, satin, lace, frothy colors, and eccentric fabrics make me go weak in the knees. So do shoes. 

I'm so excited about finding the dress.

Because I am, uh, a little bit bigger than most, I just want something that makes me look beautiful and not like a walking tent revival. I'm doing my own makeup, and I'm pretty sure that mom will do my hair if I talk her into it. Nothing elaborate, though. If I do elaborate, it won't survive the night. Probably just something braided and curled. I'm into beauty from simplicity. 

Shopping just thrills me. Nana and I used to go shopping all the time. Sometimes she didn't always agree on styles or fashions (mostly because she was really old-fashioned herself) but she still enjoyed taking me shopping with her. Kohl's was a much adored place for us to go. 

I found this one dress (that will be my Senior Prom dress) that is by Alfred Angelo and it's velvet and tulle and so pretty and I just want it so bad. It's inexpensive and simple, but it reminds me of dresses I wore when I was younger. Only this time, it definitely makes me look all the more grown up. My heart is set. 

This year however, I'm going shopping with an open mind. I want to find something pretty, but not gaudy. There's nothing that I hate more than bedazzled prom dresses. Like, they're just tacky and gross. It makes you look like you got chased down by a five year old with a sparkle addiction. Nope. Not for me at all, sorry. However, every dress I've had for a formal occasion has had some sort of glitter-infused property to it. 

No doubt at all that this year's dress will be the same. 

...I could talk about dresses all evening, but I'll spare you guys and post pictures later when I find the dress, okay? 

~

I realized today that you guys don't really know much about my taste in music, so I'm gonna enlighten you in this very random Friday update.

My two favorite bands are Fall Out Boy and Styx. 

My favorite female artist is probably Taylor Swift (and my least is Ariana Grande.) 

My favorite male artist is probably Ed Sheeran. (I don't really have a least favorite here, either.)

I listen to a mishmash of a bunch of genres. My favorite genres are indie rock and alternative rock. Anything written before the year 1990 is also probably in my queue to be listened to. 

I'm really eclectic about my taste in music. 

I also like (prepare for a long list): 

Nickelback, 

I was a Directioner three years ago, 

My Chemical Romance, 

Metro Station, 

Demi Lovato, 

Glee albums, 

Cyndi Lauper, 

show tunes, 

Luke Bryan, 

All Time Low, 

We the Kings, 

Skillet, 

PARAMORE, 

Maroon 5, 

Katy Perry, 

Kansas, 

Journey,

Jason DeRulo, 

some Hollywood Undead, 

Green Day, 

Disney anything except for the Little Mermaid, 

Breathe Carolina, 

Boys Like Girls, 

Bon Jovi, 

Elvis Presley,

Blake Shelton, 

Eagles,

Asia, 

Allstar Weekend, 

Alabama, 

Troye Sivan, 

Aqua, 

and Owl City. 

Aside from those, I'm more of a song person. I have my people that I like, and then I have the songs that just speak to my heart. I'm not really big on Christian music, either. TobyMac is cool, and so is Matthew West. Again, more of a song person. 

My favorite song is.. I actually don't think I have one. Maybe The Phoenix by Fall Out Boy, or Too Much Time on My Hands by Styx. 

I'm pretty flexible with music. This is just an overview. I listen to loud, to country, to anything really. I like it all. I appreciate it all. Music is just yay.

*insert music notes and such here, as well as my lack of an ability to dance*

~ 

Well, I hope that you guys enjoyed this random update. I just needed to write after such an...enthralling day. I typed to the tune of Fall Out Boy's "Save Rock and Roll" album. 

...musical dork, I know. 

I checked my rank before I started writing and I was #180 in nonfiction, I do believe. I'll be in the top 100 soon, I just know that I will. 

All thanks to YOU GUYS!

Thank you all for your votes and reads. Telling your friends about me would be cool too. Anybody who needs a reason to smile and likes to read is so welcome to come read this blog. 

I'm obsessed with writing again, and I'm beginning to see some of my more old-Tori traits come out again. 

So as you guys grow from what I make you think about, I'm growing from learning how to make it all flow together with words and commas and syllables and all of that good stuff. 

&I'm loving every second of it.

Happy Friday to all!

All of my love, 

-T<3