Hello world!
Today has been pretty long day, to be honest with you. My nana, who's an awesome woman and an awesome teacher and yeah, has gone to WVU to undergo tests regarding her recent diagnosis. Last Friday, she went in for an operation, and we were all both shocked and saddened by the news we received. She was diagnosed with Stage IV Pancreatic Cancer, that had spread to her liver. What was supposed to be a procedure to open her bile duct (she's jaundice), has turned into something that has changed all of our lives in a split second.
When I was little, my granddad and I would play this game where we were doctors. No matter what, we always made people feel better and all my imaginary friends (because I lacked the social skills then to have real ones) were in good health and a happy state. Nana would be our assistant, but mostly she just made us food and kept us company. Right now, I wish that my granddad could be here to make her feel better. She said last night that she had no doubt in her life that he loved her more than he loved anyone else, and I believe that to be true. It's the first time I've really seen her be emotional about it. My nana and I had our fair share of playing games, but in a much different manner. She taught me how to play chess and Scrabble; she read me stories, but mostly just this one about a greedy teddy bear that ate too many sweets and his stuffing popped out and he had to go to the toy hospital; and we did huge puzzles on the dining room table in her house (now where I reside.)
Granddad and I were closer, I like to think... But nana and I were close in a different way. We'd go shopping together, and almost always go to the Chic-fil-a in our local mall. It was kind of a tradition. As I got older, and as our town got bigger, we went to different places. Believe me though, it was always special no matter where we decided to go. The last time we went shopping, we went to the mall. She bought me my homecoming dress at Debs, and the night of the dance,p on short notice, she fixed it to fit me properly at the top.
Nana is definitely a superwoman. In her lifetime, she's done so much. When she was 17, she married my granddad. She raised five children, at first just two boys and one girl, and eleven years after my mom was born, had twins. Remarkable, right? Then, while the twins were in school, she went back to school and got her degree in teaching regular education (and library science) through high school. She's also a special education teacher for gifted. When I was in elementary school, she was one of my teachers.
I don't know why things happen. Especially why, after granddad passing away not even a year ago, my nana has become sick. At first, I was angry with God. I had no desire to pray, or hope... Life itself just seemed so fragile and pointless, and I just felt so helpless. I hate it when people say they're praying, because sometimes I feel like they aren't. If you've prayed for my grandmother, bless you. You're awesome. I've now decided that since I've seen my family healed, in multiple situations, that God can do just the same for my nana. The Bible says to not be afraid, and to ask and you shall receive. So it's insanely hard to do that right now, but I'm gonna do it. Some doctor said that her odds are low, 1 in 100,000, but I say forget that. This isn't about odds, it's about God. I earnestly hope that she will live to see my cousin Griffin, the youngest grandchild right now, grow up. I want her to see me walk down the aisle someday.
When she found out, she asked my mother, "Have you ever heard of bargaining with God?" and said that she just wanted to see her grandchildren grow up. I'll admit, she and granddad spoiled me a little bit growing up. But you know, I'm the only granddaughter they've ever had, and our relationship has always been different than the others. I love them both so very much. My nana is a fighter, and she is going to kick cancer's butt.
So today I ask everyone who's reading this to please, pray for Dora Deskins. Pray for healing, strength, and for us to not give up hope. We need the God-given strength to not give up hope, no matter how cloudy the situation seems. She has a procedure tomorrow at WVU... I'm praying that by some miracle, they find that nothing is wrong or that the situation isn't as dire as it had seemed to be. With where I've been in life, the only thing I really have left to lose, is my hope.
God bless all of you, and may you have a good evening no matter where you are.
I love you guys!
I love you guys!
-Tori Wickline <3
