I'm really tired of hearing those two words, you guys. [see title, lol]
Yes, I like school. I love going to class and writing papers. I love staying up until 4am for no good reason, and then waking up an hour before class to do my homework.
Registering for classes, I knew that I didn't want to take any less than 18 hours next semester because I enjoy feeling challenged. Presently, I'm registered for 19 hours. Two of my classes have labs. All of my classes are evening and night courses, because guess what?
I got hired again. I start in two weeks, and I'm really excited about it.
But, because of having a job, I have to place my classes strategically around it.
Not complaining though. I'm excited about having an income, and an educational income. What's the point of not doing anything? Why do people and parents genuinely not want their kids/teens/selves to not be successful in working and in school?
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it. I'm really freaking ambitious. I've been told on and off this week that I'm beyond my years and not at all like the rest of my peers. (Thank you older classmates, who make me feel like a real adult and not a lost little teenager in a world of adults.)
I'm taking a lot of hours, attempting to maintain my scholarships, and working.
So please refrain from telling me that I'm "too" ambitious.
No. I am excited and terrified and confused and I really need to find my groove and I'm going to do that next semester by working and learning as much as I possibly can. I don't care if my brain feels like it's going to explode with information- I want to further myself as a student and as a professional adult.
I am really freaking ambitious, okay?
Deal with it.
Stop putting me and the other really ambitious people down for our dreams, ideas, and hard work. Just because you aren't willing to work for something, doesn't mean that we aren't.
I'm ambitious about teaching, education, journalism, blogging, human rights (especially LGBTQ, BLM, and women's rights), and especially this blog.
I may not share your ambition about other things, or even your drive for small things, but these are my special things. Don't squash me like a bug because you are a bug.
~
I don't have time for silly shenanigans or stuff like that. I'm just ready to get this show on the road.
Today has been hellish in some ways, and reminded me that I need to work hard to get past all of the bad things dragging me, others, and my family down. I'm tired of doing without, foregoing plans, and worrying all the freaking time about things.
I plan on doing my very best to overcome all of these things, and start to make a better life for my family and myself.
I'm also happily in a relationship, in case I haven't told you guys. I have been for a long while now, but have refrained from discussing it online for personal reasons. If you know who he is, then good. Be happy for me and all that jazz. If you don't, well, you could probably do some digging and figure it out pretty easily. He is a wonderful young man, and he makes my life really good.
Life right now is just unbalanced and I'm struggling to figure out the purpose of things that happen.
Personally, my family is trying to buy a house right now, and we need my car and the family car fixed. I think that both of them require something pertaining to breaks...? I'm not 100% sure. I don't speak car that well these days.
I spend my free time watching YouTube and hanging out with Hayley and (not so little) baby Wes. Dinner and a movie with them once or twice a week helps me catch my breath and realize that I do have escapes from the craziness of the world if I need them. They have become an integrated part of my family, and I'm thankful to have them around.
Sometimes I really miss my friends that are way too far away, like Kaitlyn and Bethany, but I know that they're having the time of their lives.
Bethany is living the life; she's at Marshall University and texted me today about renting a puppy for $2. Currently counting down weeks until the semester is over and we can go pace our local mall, window shopping for Christmas gifts for each other and our respective families.
Kaitlyn is rocking at life right now in pre-med classes. (I'm the friend that sucks and math and science, but these guys are pretty good at it so- good for them!) She also works at a cute lil store, and met the love of her life (I'm joking, I'm joking... mostly.) in the line to early vote today. She's in college down in North Carolina.
I just feel like life is changing, rapidly. Every single day it just seems to speed up faster and faster, and right now I'm overwhelmed a bit.
Send your good vibes, and nice prayers my direction please. My family could use them. Going into the holiday season here soon will be no easier than it has been the last two years. Loss is somehow always a present thing in your mind when life is hard, so on top of everyday struggles, we have these wonderful grieving pains that never go away.
~
I love you guys. Thank you for reading me to 6,000 reads.
We really need to start building each other up, ladies and gentlemen. No more of this tearing each other down all the time garbage.
-Tori :)
p.s. Let's not talk about politics anymore until after the election, okay? I'm voting for A. Ham. Hands down, lol. I've given up on the politics of the 21st century. Let's go back. Please? Someone? Anyone?
p.p.s. I'm officially double majoring! Woo!
p.p.p.s. I'm working on a painting for my art class, and it's the most exciting thing I've ever gotten to do in the arts. It's challenging me to no end. I'll share it in a post when it's finished. It's a recreation of a recreation by Andy Warhol. *sigh* I'm so happy with how it's turning out.
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