My Many Blessings 10.29.16

Tonight, after a very long and upsetting day yesterday, I have overcome two days worth of sadness and the sneaking monster that is depression. Things have happened that have brought me so far down; I had slumped to the lowest of lows and I'm glad that I have climbed back up to the top of the mountain.

I hate feeling like I did yesterday. Helplessness is not an attractive trait to possess, no matter what Eliza Hamilton says in my favorite musical. Feeling like you're drowning while you're walking on land is one of the worst feelings in the entire world. It is especially bad when you cannot seem to drag your way out of the pit by yourself.

Luckily, I am surrounded by some of the very best. I don't have to struggle through things alone, and even without expressing my woes directly, these people always seem to pull me out of the depths that try to stop me and ruin my happiness. These people are just a glimpse into the support system that I have around me, and I felt like I needed to thank them personally for their roles in my life.

To everyone reading who is mentioned, I am extremely thankful for your shining lights in my life. You all make me feel complete and at ease, and calm down my anxious, worrisome mind. You are my many blessings. If any of you ever need a thing, never hesitate to contact me. I would do just about anything for you wonderful people.

~

I am blessed to have people like Bethany in my life, who will meet me at a ballgame in Huntington and cheer my brother on with me for a piece of time because she knows I miss her. 

We may not agree on everything, but you're the best and you know I love you and always want you to have the best and not settle. You will always be my Glinda, I will always be your Elphie, and I don't care how far away one of us goes- you're still my best friend.

I want to get matching custom tattoos, be cliche best friends into adulthood, and continue to share memories even though we're far apart again. You and I have discovered who we are in the last few years, more with each other than without, and I wouldn't have had it any differently.

You're awesome. Be a grown up. Don't let people tell you that you're still young and immature.

You lack maturity in some things, but in other things you are wise beyond years and know what you want. Don't let anything (or anyone) stand in your way anymore.

You're inimitable, dude. Live life that way.

~

I am blessed to have people like Madison, who will talk to me for hours on end about everything under the sun. She holds appreciation for the smallest of things, and I'm proud to call her one of my best friends. She understands the value in poetry, books, good television shows, and friendship. She is my tiny friend- 

I love you small friend.

You have made my life good in the short time I have known you. I am looking forward to a lifetime of sharing good books and good movies with you.

You are a wonderful and talented young lady. You are going to grow into an even more exceptional woman. Do not let anyone extinguish your light, especially when they aren't even intelligent enough to pinpoint the beginning of the flame. Live your life for you, and to the fullest.

Dance in hallways. Sing at the top of your lungs. Be outspoken.

You do you- the world will follow.

~
I am blessed to have people like Kaitlyn in my life, too. Though she is many miles away, she never hesitates to answer a call or text, and always has time to talk. We build each other up, we share our struggles and ambitions, and we text an unlawful amount of memes back and forth on the daily. 

Thank you for walking into my life four years ago. I love you. I cherish your friendship on a daily basis.

We have had our rough spots, but we also understand each other from perspectives that no other people will ever grasp. You are many times an anchor that keeps me from flying away with my crazy mind. Your wisdom into things is... unmatchable. People who take you for granted are disgusting, and you should never waste time with people who cannot appreciate the extent of your brain. 
~

I am blessed by my mother, who despises being called "mother." She is my mom. She is the shield and sword that defend me day in and day out, despite adulthood. I call her for good conversations. I tell her all of my dreams, and I am thankful every day that she is different than any other parents I have met in my life. She makes me feel like all of the power and determination I have are able to be focused and put forth in an awesome way. I owe myself to her, all of my talents and gifts, because she has nurtured them in me for 18 years and some womb time. 

I love ya, mom! Our inside jokes, our looks that mimic each other, and our ability to sense when something is wrong with the other... I wouldn't trade your companionship for anything in this entire world. I will never be able to thank God enough for making you my mother.

...Bible. ;) 
~

I am blessed by Pat. He's an extraordinary human being. I have become smarter because of him. His intelligent humor is somehow rubbing off on me, which makes me incredibly sarcastic in an educated way and I love it. Between he and my mom, I have become a walking block of sarcasm. Pat challenges me to think: to learn new things in ways that I never imagine. His quirky computer-based lifestyle makes my life interesting, as there seems to never be a moment when he isn't furthering his knowledge on one topic or another. I love him for this- for his desire to absorb as much knowledge as possible in everything. 

I know that sometimes our friendship feels hard, and I know that I miss you more and more as these months drag on, but you are my person. I am very thankful that you are my person. I am particularly thankful that you love me at my very best, and at my very worst. 

You are sunlight in a world of shadows. Remember that always. :)

~

I am blessed by my dear friend Hayley. She has taught me that adulthood is sometimes not what you dream it will be, and that's okay. I have learned how hard life can be on good people, and I have shared those experiences with her to build her up and encourage her. She's an astounding mother, and people who say otherwise are stupid.

I love you, girl. I love our dinner-and-movie days when we get out of class. I love holding Wesley; even when he cries, even when he throws up on me... I still adore him. He's got a strong person to look up to in the future.

I'm proud of you every day. You are going to go places- great places. Stop doubting your abilities, stop letting guys and family get you down for irrelevant reasons, and just fly.

~

I am blessed by you guys. 

You people that I may not know that well, but that care enough to click on and read my blog.

People like RaJon and Jada, who follow my blog and give me positive feedback. In the last month, I have considered taking down my blog and giving up on it. You guys have kept me writing. 

People who live across the world, and accidentally stumble across my blog through Twitter or Facebook. You guys don't know me from Adam, but yet, you're still here. Reading. Providing new statistics on my dashboard that uplift the writer in my soul, and nurture her capabilities. 

I could not keep myself writing without your support, so thanks a million.

People like my Fright Nights family, my coworkers from various places, the people that I have met over the summer that now influence my every day life. You are all members of my extended family, and I am eternally indebted to you for how incredible you make me feel.

~

At the lowest of lows, I can turn to this blog and the people who follow it, and you guys always seem to catch me. You are the ones I do this for. I love to write; I know I've said it a million times! 

But, 

You guys are the ones that keep me doing it. 

You make me push through writers block and keep going.

Each and every one of you is significant to me, whether I know you or not.

And to those of you that I do know, thought not well I'll admit, you guys inspire me to no end. As long as I have people like you, eager to read whatever it is I have to stand up for or share, then I will never give up on what I desire to be.

Thank you all for standing for something with me.

I am so blessed. 
So blessed. 

Even on the days when it feels like my world is shattering, caving in, or falling to my feet- I have people to turn to. I have an infinite number of blank pages to fill up, and at least a small following of people who care what I have to say.

I am grateful.

My heart is with all of you.

I just felt like many of you needed to be reminded that you are so very sensational. Eccentric and unorthodox, not traditional, world changing people that I am proud to call my friends, acquaintances, and readers.

I love you all so, so SO much. I will never-not-be at a loss for words about how much you guys keep me going and make me feel like I am someone.

Stay wonderful. All of you.

various people I love in one picture. :)

-Tori W. :) <3